I love and respect all mothers and their children. As a childless woman, I celebrate and cherish the children and parental relationships which exist around me. I am indeed “Mum Number 2” to my friends children, however this is my opinion and one which saved myself from the heartache I once experienced.
My opinion is “Mothers Day Doesn’t Matter”… I said it and here is why..
5 years ago I spent Mothers Day full of intense sadness that I was never going to hear those words echoing around my house. Never to experience being called “Mum”. I read and reread the numerous social media outbursts of love and adoration for all the mums out there, women I was often ostracised from in terms of social standing and relevance.
I posted my own loving and dutiful post for all to see, to my beautiful mum, who I am so lucky to have and then curled up under my quilt and cried for the gaping hole that I felt. Why did Mothers Day hurt so much? Why was my sadness escalated a million fold?
It wasn’t until recent times that I realised the true reality of the matter – “Mothers Day didn’t matter”. Sorry Mum but fact is I love you deeply every day of the year and my sadness for not being a mum bumbles along inside me each day too, like a well managed chimp. A chimp quite capable of causing havoc on a much more frequent basis if not controlled.
Fact is Mothers Day is just a fabricated, commercialised day much like Valentines Day, Fathers Day and dare I say it, Christmas Day! Now besides the fact that Christmas Day has a powerful and religious meaning for many, who believe and have faith, it has for others evolved into a commercialised 4 months of nonsense, stirring up feelings of sadness, panic, dread and financial turmoil.
All of these manufactured, commercialised days of nonsense have manipulated the masses and ignited more feelings of worry, grief and hardship than is necessary.
It was not until I started to control my thoughts, which massively impacted on my feelings, that I could see Mothers Day for what it is…commercialised, sycophantic and unnecessary. I appreciate and respect the fun had by all and the sharing of love ,which I always promote, but I’m looking at this from a place, which unless perception can be shifted, can be immobilising.
As a childless woman who has the best mother in the world (biased I know but true), I love my mum every day and I cope with and control the fact that this is an honour I will never withhold. I should not and will not be made to feel any worse by the labelling of a day which carries no greater meaning or significance than any other.
Having decided to write this post and only then (ie 48 hours ago), I did my research into who invented Mothers Day. The first story to appear was entitled “Anna Jarvis : The Woman who Regretted Creating Mothers Day”. Anna Jarvis was a US childless woman who, having created Mothers Day in honour of her own, made one of her final acts in life to campaign for Mothers Day to be rescinded – a hard fought anti-commercialisation crusade. Anna Jarvis never married or had children.
Constance Penswick Smith was responsible for the reinvigoration of Mothers Day in to the UK inspired by Anna Jarvis. Smith worked tirelessly to reestablish the true Christian celebration of Mothering Sunday in a campaign to return the day to it’s religious roots. Constance Penswick Smith also never married or had children.
I rest my case. Before knowing the existence of Anna Jarvis and Constance Penswick Smith, I became acutely agitated by the huge commercialisation of Mothers Day. A belief I now know was shared by the 2 women who created it’s existence.
Everything we feel is a direct result of the thoughts we think and the perception we hold. We are in control of how we perceive any given thing or event and the significance which we give to them.
I no longer get upset on Mothers Day. It has the same fun & laughter, sadness and grief of any other day and no more.